When I decided to write about my weight loss challenge I promised that I would be writing periodic updates about my progress and success, and yet, I have failed on that promise. I don’t have much to justify my behavior, other than to say that I’ve had so little success I’ve felt like there isn’t much to say—so why bother saying anything.
All my life I have struggled with my weight. I was the biggest kid in school, and that always made me feel like an outsider. I have consciously, and at times unconsciously, filled my life with the development of other skills and talents to make up for what I have inherently believed to be my biggest flaw…that I’m fat.
Losing weight is like trying to dance with a schizophrenic monkey. At times, the dance goes as planned, but 90% of the time it feels as though the monkey is trying to kill me. This challenge has dominated every thought and action over the last few months, and I have seen myself become more withdrawn and unhappy. It’s hard to keep positive and keep the momentum going when there is so little success.
So What’s Next?
Losing weight is my lifelong wannabe challenge, and this is never going to change. I know, the sooner I embrace the fact that my body will always be a work in progress, I might start to feel some measure of peace.
I’m glad I have made some progress, even if I haven’t met my goal. Ten pounds lost is better than zero. I do have two weeks left in my challenge, but obviously I can’t stop trying to live a healthier, more balanced lifestyle once the challenge ends. Balance, moderation and positive mindset will do more in the long run than criticizing myself.
I will return to blogging once a week and getting back to some of things I have ignored over the past few months—namely research, fascinating studies and the projects I love to tackle.